ONE LAST THING TO DO

I was thinking about something, you could call it a break through.

It's about the final nail in the final step. The final period on the communication. The last couple touch-ups of paint. The end of the process that signifies, "I'm done." Hitting send.

Looking around my life, I’m seeing a lot instances where I simply haven't completed. On some level, I believe putting the final step is opening myself to criticism or judgement. When I complete the process, I must accept someone else’s opinion of whether it was a good idea or a bad idea, a good decision or a bad decision, a skilled process or a hack. I know this about myself, my partner knows this about me.

But through a conversation with one of my employees, I realize that I operate like this in almost everything I do. My browser always has open tabs or an unsent emails. If the tabs are still open, if we are still in draft, there is still something to do or read or add. I will finish it later. There's no finality or completion, it’s simply activity. Instead I may derive some satisfaction in absorbing another action, a feeling of progress by opening another tab or job or project or assignment. The significance is busy over effective. Nothing gets complete.

Imagine a class assignment without a due date. How long does it take you to finish it? This assignment won't be graded either. How much effort do you put into it? An assignment with no due date is never turned in, therefore we never get the grade. There is never an account of the quality of the product. Never turned in means you never have to reconcile someone’s opinion of your effort. What is your time and effort budget to get this done? I can answer that, none. This is a huge problem for self-conscious approval seekers.

Conversely, imagine a scenario that no matter how profound your product, it was scorned and downvoted across the board. Where is your motivation?

A project that's a work in progress for a year always has the backup story. Of course it isn’t as good as it should be, IT’S NOT DONE! No matter what you say, I have a defense that is correct 100% of the time.

Hitting send or sinking that last nail scares the shit out of me. Because then my effort is up to be judged.

How would I be in the world if I did not fear judgement?

What if I wasn’t considering the opinion of worthiness from others?

What good  is it to know these things and yet never complete? There is always some guidance that you need to put into place in order for your change to take effect.

What is the discomfort in your own life that you attribute to its incompleteness?

What are you not completing fully, to avoid judgement?

Book time with me now, let’s drill down and determine your fail to finish.

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