your stereotype doesn’t work on me

There are details you simply do not need to know right out of the gate.

I could say that I’m a Divorced Presbyterian Democrat Vegan from the Pacific Northwest and you may think you know me. Btw, I’m none of these.

I often comment that stereotypes are great time savers. Not all are correct, but stereotype exists for a reason. We can make some reasonable assumptions about a person based on characteristics, features, dress, style, and the like. None of these assumptions are totally accurate. I’m reminded of a recent brief encounter at the beach where I jokingly said I have a kayak and a Subaru (I don’t) but it sparked a fun conversation.

Where I have trouble though is when the stereotype is the canvas from which people feel that they know me.

I battle the stereotypes of people like me to the point that I simply made it a practice to hide my past experience until is was necessary. I am not ashamed of my career, the people I worked with, or the system that I engaged with. Frankly, I have a pretty good fall back system that many people do not have. My career afforded my many opportunities that I otherwise would have not been able to experience.

Just try to consider this narrative when I speak to a new physician or counselor. “I spent 23 years in the military and my last tour was in Baghdad. I’m service disabled, but I have it under control.”

The first thing that comes up is PTSD and I’m asked the suicide questions.

Even where I spend most of my time, work, I don’t really like to talk about my current role or my career because I have so many interests. What I do is very little of what is me.

Who do you vote for? Who do you pray to? Who do you sleep with? Married? Kids?

No matter the answer, I don’t believe characteristics are entirely indicative of the character.

The way you get to know me is to spend time with me.

To be known, we need to be present and not fear an opinion. Only one opinion matters.

If you need to move past limiting beliefs, past the appearance of the layer that everyone sees, you will find no judgement or preconceived perceptions from me.

Work with me, I will guide you from the stereotypes that hold you back.

You have a conscience and a breathing will for security in relationship and being. That is where we will start.